Divorce can be a painful process for Colorado couples, but it’s made even more painful if you have children together. Some parents might not know how to communicate their forthcoming divorce to their children because of this.
Regardless, it’s still important to talk to your children about the divorce. Telling them sooner rather than later might give them more time to process – but it’s still important to be thoughtful about how the conversation will go.
Plan what you’re going to say – together
It’s not uncommon for divorcing couples to want nothing to do with each other from the moment the papers are filed. This isn’t an option when you have children together though.
Co-parenting will involve lots of conversations and discussions about your children. It’s important to make these decisions together and deciding how to tell your children about the divorce is no different.
It’s important to plan for the unpredictability of this sort of conversation. This means preparing for uncomfortable questions and being ready to answer them together.
Being transparent without pointing blame
Regardless of the actual reasons for divorce, you’ll want to develop a narrative that doesn’t put one parent at fault. This is even more applicable if your children are on the younger side.
Emphasize that this is for the best, but that you both still love them and will be there for them. It’s also important to be transparent with the next steps, including:
• Who is moving out
• How custody might be handled
• What else is going to change
Reassure them and allow space for their feelings
You’ll want to present as a unified unit to your children, putting their needs ahead of your feelings. You’ll want to be ready to reassure them and answer questions.
While you know that this is for the best, it might be hard for your children to process. It’s important to not get upset with them for having big feelings – instead, you’ll want to emphasize with them and reassure them however you can.